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I feasted my eyes on the thunder of your hair;
Trembling, I touched your shoulders with my
china hands
I thought that my hands would break if I held
you.
I thought I should crumble when you said, "Come."
But I could not move though you said, "Come,
come."
I could only stand and gaze
where the rain had left jewels upon the rose.
I stood and I forced my hands, my china hands,
to touch your cheek;
amazed, I watched the blood spurt from my wrists
and saw my snapped hands upon the floor,
while you stood smiling,
smiling at my china hands upon the floor.
I saw the holes appear where your eyes had
been,
two black windows into the pit of your mind,
feverishly I came close and, head on side,
peered like a robin into the depths of your
mind.
At what I saw my body turned to water
and ran away, steaming, between my legs:
At what I saw God screamed in my mind
and, screaming, ran wildly out of me forever.
I approached you, my brother, slowly I came
near
and, as slowly, you faded before my eyes
until where you had been two toads stood
blinking their jewel eyes and croaking in
chorus, "Come."
When I would not move they leaped at me
and straddled, clutching with slimy limbs,
across my head.
God, how I laughed and laughed
until I fell writhing and wrestling upon the
floor.
I watched your breasts swell and heave beneath
your dress;
I saw your feet, like flowers, peeping below.
I looked and I saw fangs where your teeth had been,
I saw fangs, fangs, where your mouth had been.
My lips turned to water as I fell from your kiss,
as I slid between the hills of your breasts,
as I crashed, screaming, to the floor.
I watched you with pent eyes, my lover,
with eyes streaming with the sea I watched you.
Through the veil of my tears I saw your full
bust shrivel,
I watched your red lips melt to blood.....
I hold my bursting arms out to you, my brother,
I hold out my arms...but love has taken you away.
'Agony in passing' A.B. Walker
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